Why live life in fear?

Question

Okay, to make a long story short........I'm 17, and every once in a while I go down to Alexander (its not THAT far from where I live), and my parents found at and they got very angry. They said it is dangerous for a female, especially a white girl to go there alone (which I agree is true), but I want to enjoy life and not live life cooked up in some house with an 11 foot fence with barbed wire and especially since you dont know how long your going to live, nowadays especially with this country's high murder rate and AIDS going around, etc. I want to enjoy life and meet people, not be surrounded by scared, racist white people. As a citizen of SA, I have the right to enjoy it just as much as a black or Coloured. I had a lot more fun in Soweto compared to Sandton because, in my opinion, black people know how to enjoy life better.

Plus, most of the men there really liked me and treated me good and most of the girls also, for the exception of a few. I think the reason why this country has so much race issues is because people are afraid to talk to and become friends with people of other colors and this promotes a culture of ignorance.

Answer 1

Okay Mizz Kimberley, I guess you have every right to want to live your life to the full and not live in fear, but you have to face reality and realise that the way you would like things to be, is not what SA allows right now. The concern your parents have for you is the concern almost every parent in SA has for their child and it is justified. I don't think that any parent (irrelevant of colour), wants to be told that their child has been found murdered or raped, do you? I could not help noting your 'preference' to certain suburbs and people of other races (that's your choice, there's nothing wrong with it) but at 17, how would you expect any man to ''treat'' you besides having ulterior motives, which is exactly why your parents are behaving this way. I am not going to try to stop you from enjoying your life, it is yours after all, but please, do take care of where you go and with whom, Sandton included. You have a chance to live your life to the max...don't throw it away. Be safe for now and enjoy life a little later. You should make the most of getting a good education now, then work your way out of SA (and it's 11 foot fences, burglar-bars, etc., as you stated) if that is your wish, to a safer and ''more exciting'' country (if you can find one). Just remember: no matter where you go in this world, one has to always be careful. Good luck!



Add: Pitso, sorry that you have misinterpreted my ''inferences'' but like I ''inferred'' to Kimberley: Each to his own opinion. Death has NO preference to colour and as far as I can see, neither does prejudice in SA. I would give the same advice to a person of colour. Try to enjoy your day, otherwise my email is open for further discussion on the issue.

Answer 2

Hello Mizz Kimberly



I grew up in Alexandra, and now live in Bramley. Both my parents are still in Alexandra and I go there almost every weekend. I think having 1st hand experience in alex for at least 20 something odd years of my life, I'd say Alex is far more better than it used to be. There seems such a new trend of living large and living the life. People are driving fancy cars and dressing in the latest fashions. Its hardly a slum anymore, unless you count the really dirty areas that the municipal should take care of. Yes, to a degree I'd agree with Comms by saying some men tend to only be after one thing and that you should be careful. You have as much chance of being hurt by a nice guy in Alex as you do in Sandton, Bramley or Lyndhurst. I think most of the niceties occur because you are white, you arent what they are exactly what they're accustomed to in a township (I should know, imagine being a skinny pale girl living in Alex, i was treated like a queen by men who wound up asking me out). I'd understand why your parents are worried, Alex has had quite a bad reputation for a while now. I'd suggest you introduce your folks to your friends and have them guarnatee your safety each time you leave with them. I'm not sayin it'll ease the worry, but its worth a try. Yes, do try to be careful, dont talk to people you dont know or just go anywhere. Limit your visits as well and if you ever need to ask about anything else feel free to email me okay?

Answer 3

Its not about fear, its about the risk and inclination, it's each individuals right if they feel unsafe to go to Soweto, must everyone now prove themselves not to be racist and go there just to prove they aren't, not all people want to go to Soweto, unless of course they have reason to do so. Stop generalising and throwing the word "racist" around!!! By the way its also every individuals preference and right to mix and mingle with whom they want, some like to mix with other races, others don't, and would prefer to preserve their race and heritage, its their right to do so, unless of course you force it upon them to mix, now there's a solution?

Answer 4

I think there is a difference between living in fear and taking precautions. There is nothing wrong with enjoying life, but as soon as you start taking chances bad things happen. So if you want to go into more dangerous areas, make sure you stay in a group. Its the little precautions that make the difference.

Answer 5

I’d venture to disagree with inferences from Commodore. What your parents are telling you is that they are themselves prejudiced. There’s nothing wrong with white girls going to Alexandra. The place is cool and you have seen it yourself. The inference from Commodore is that if you go to Alexandra or Soweto (and as a white girl) you are most likely to be murdered or raped. This runs in the face of the belief held by most white people who sued to grace this site. According to them such things were mainly to exclusively happening in white suburbs.



Keep talking to your parents and let them know that you want to be where you feel comfortable and not where they feel comfortable. Much as you appreciate their concern about your safety, you believe that you are both safe and comfortable. Also tell them you always take precautions not to be in positions where you are in danger of being injured.



As a South African and youth, you have the right to go anywhere in this country and nobody must set boundaries for you. If you want to go clubbing in 4th Avenue in Alex, you have the right. If you want to spend Saturday evening at The Rock in Soweto, you should go. Just like if you want to chill at The Zone in Rosebank. Good luck!

Answer 6

i don't want to preach for you! i don't want you to read this and say: what the hell does taznic know? and this is probably not what you want to hear but i beg you, just take this as a bit of advise from me also a youngster myself and loving life by exploring people and places here in SA!



i feel very concerned for you as a young person myself, that you should be taking chances by going alone as a 17year old "vulnerable" girl into alexandra.... there are Gangs, drugs and high crimes in alexandra (yes i know its all over like that, but its more concentrated in these places- and you could be an easy target) !

sweetie, you are at HIGH risk, no matter who you are with, no-1 i mean no-1 can be trusted...! just think about that when you go there again! please understand my concern and what im trying to tell you here! im not trying to convince you to stop going or sound like a mother moaning, but i just want you to become more "wise"! unfortunately our country is not a safe place, for anyone!!!

i know your frustration about our countries status, but unfortunately you will have to except it and live with it! you are much safer at home behind your 11foot fence with barb wire, than what you are going to alexandra though.



SA is a beautiful place, and we have beautiful people here to, and i must state that im glad to see that our younger generation is making a difference by getting along with each other...changing the future. it's wonderful! JUST please kim- BE VERY WISE!





p.s when you go there again, please tell a friend from your area with whom and where you are going to. if you dont want your parents to know! just so someone atleast knows where you are at -the truth!

Answer 7

I stay a loose existence there is not any concern of failure, as as quickly as I fail i know i visit bypass. No concern of persons, what max can all of us do to me. No concern of dying, when you consider that on a daily basis of existence in nearing dying which all of us know of. No concern of issues, as they at the instant are not conventional to me.

Answer 8

i just leaved the country after living there for 8 years .

It is going to hell .

one night my door gets kicked open and 5 guys with guns put a gun against my head , they were about to shoot when the alarm went off.

Answer 9

Listen to your parents, you are young an live life okay, but be smart.

Answer 10

Ya enjoy life as long as you are alive I feel very sorry your parents to see you die so young.

Either from aids or being killed by a friend of yours.



By the way I am also from SA.

Answer 11

The result of apartheid, whites should have thought of this when they were the ones in charge.



A better treatment of the natives then would have made things much easier for whites now...



payback is a b.i. t. c. h :)

Answer 12

Ladies and gentlemen we have the next Amie Biel - clap clap.